The Truck

After a good amount of research we learned that we had little chance of scoring/affording a Toyota Hilux (diesel) here in the States and an 05′ or 06′ 4×4 Tundra would be the ideal choice to pair with our pop-up camper. Based on reviews they are reliable, have the improved VVT-i 4.7 V8 and 5-speed auto-tranny, and are relatively easy to repair. Plus these were the last model years of the 1st generation. The Tundra’s reputation was no secret and we soon found out that we weren’t the only ones in the market for this particular truck. Demand for the 05 & 06 is high and people are willing to pay a premium compared to other pickups.

On a daily basis, we searched Cars.com, Autotrader, Cargurus, and Craigslist for the right truck at the right value. It was slim pickings and living in the D.C. metro area meant that most of the trucks we wanted to see required a long drive in traffic. Not that I don’t love traffic and the overly-obvious sales tactics of used car salesmen, but each trip required a stiff drink when we returned home empty-handed. Maybe we should just order one of these.

The day after Christmas I was topping off the camper battery at Jenna’s parent’s house wondering when, if ever, we would finally be able to drive our FWC into the adventurous places it was built for. The camper had been sitting in their yard for months without use. It was covered in a blue tarp with the jack stands on cinder blocks and a flooring foundation of 4 Lowe’s buckets. We had slept in it twice to test it out, but it looked abandoned now that winter had come. Jenna’s Dad often teased that he would stake out the camper with pink flamingos and empty beer cans to complete the trailer park scene we had created in his yard. I walked back in the house day-dreaming about my potential future….living on my fiance’s parent’s front lawn, wearing jorts, sippin’ bud heavy and flicking the butts of my cowboy killers into a plastic kiddie-pool….not too shabby.

Redneck Daydream – Yes, that’s really us in the picture.

Just then, Jenna snapped me back to reality saying she found a truck we needed to check out; and an hour later we were playing coy at the used Toyota dealership. This one checked all the boxes and the salesman was a good guy. Even so, it took a couple hours and the “walk-out” routine to get the price right. Another hour of paperwork and she was ours…Finally!

Our least favorite car salesman...

SCENE – Picture one of those dumpy used car dealerships where cars are jammed in bumper-to-bumper (literally touching). I think the place was called “Platinum Auto” or “Cosmic Cars” or some other ridiculous name that the owner thought would cleverly lure customers to his graveyard of bottom-shelf auction vehicles. And if you guessed that there were several high-mileage, but shiny, BMWs and Mercedes in the front row, you were right! We should have turned around at the sight of the place, but we had driven an hour and a half in the rain…so we parked. That’s when “Zippy” came bounding out of the sales trailer. “Zippy” because this guy may or may not have just finished a Scarface-sized line of coke before greeting us. To get a true feeling for the situation you’ll need to read the following conversation by rudely interrupting each one of my lines, and reading the salesman lines at triple tempo.

Greasy Used Car Salesman

Me – “Hi, we called about the Toyota Tundra.”

Salesman – “Of course, these are great trucks. We sell them very very fast every time”

Me – “Says you guys did the state inspection here three months ago, so it’s been here a little while.”

Salesman – “Oh well yes, but I have several people very very interested in buying this truck. In fact, someone called this morning.”

Me – “Gotcha…well can we take it for a test drive?”

Salesman – “Unfortunately, it has a flat tire so you can’t test drive it today, but you can buy it today and we will fix the tire right away for you.”

Me – “So when I called you earlier, before I drove all the way up here, it must have slipped your mind to tell me that I couldn’t test drive it.”

Salesman – *pause* “Well it’s a very good truck. Toyota…they all run forever.”

Me – “By chance, do you know if the timing belt has been replaced yet?”

Salesman – “Yes, yes, we make sure everything is ready to go here at XYZ Dumpy Dealership”

Me – “hmm. Are you sure about the timing belt?”

Salesman – “no, not really, but this is a Toyota man. It’s a great truck. I know someone will buy it very soon so you should probably put a deposit down today.”